My Twin, Samantha La Nell Blair Boutelle

Life will never be the same with out my twin sister. Samantha passed away on June 27, 2009. It hurts just to record this. Samantha was the best friend, sister, aunt, daughter, and twin. She filled our lives with happiness and laughter. Birthdays, and holidays will never be the same without her.

It was the best growing up with a twin. I never had first day of school jitters because I always knew that my best friend would be waiting for me on the playground. We would do the craziest thing growing up. I remember one time we taped a dead bug on a piece of paper and left it on our sister Tammy's bed, just to hear what she would say. Or our craziest moment, and definitely not my most proud, we were climbing the tree in our backyard. I jumped down from the tree and Samantha followed, but she landed kind of funny. As she sat on the ground holding her arm, I kept kicking her in the butt to get up and do it again. I found out quickly that she had broken her arm. I still feel bad about that. Or another time when I was so mad at my brother Shane, I closed my eyes and swung my baton at him. I missed and hit Samantha in the eye, she had a scar from the stitches by her eyebrow, a constant reminder of my foolishness.
I remember a time, when we were pretty little, we thought we could read each other's minds. I asked Samantha "Do you know what I am thinking", and she replied "Yeah.......What is it". We laughed about that for hours, and growing up we would remember it and still laugh. I remember a time when my mom had to run into a friends house and left us in the car. We thought we would play like we were driving the car and start with the steering wheel and the gear shift. Some how (I think it was Samantha's fault (JK)) we started rolling down a large hill. A man witnessed the whole thing and jumped in and saved us. I don't think that my mom was ever the same after that!

I did just about everything with Samantha, from getting our ears pierced (twice) together, to going on Daddy Daughter dates, to getting our Patriarchal Blessing together and so many more things. I was always jealous of Samantha who always had a much smaller waist, who always had more boyfriends, who always did better in English classes, and SO much more. I remember her on my wedding day thinking how beautiful she looked and that she looked way better than I did.

Samantha loved my kids with a passion. I often joked with her that she loved them more than I did. She would always reprimand me when she thought I was lack on my parenting skills or when she felt I was letting my kids do something that she felt they weren't' ready for. When Aunt Sammy would visit, she spoiled my kids rotten, and would leave spending every last dollar she had on them. Samantha was a funny girl, she would tell my family weird things like "If I ever die I want you to have this". One of those things was all of her Halloween decorations that she wanted Ethan to have. His birthday is the day before Halloween. I was blessed to get those from her. I feel badly for Ethan because I don't know if I will ever give them up. They are a way of me being closer to her. I won't be sad to display them. I am excited to put them up, Halloween was her favorite holiday and I will remember her the way she would....HAPPY!

One of my favorite things about Samantha was the way she loved to climb in bed with me. Whenever she would visit or I would visit her, she would get in bed with me. She would even kick James out of the bed just so she could sleep with me. I will miss that! Last summer when she came to San Diego I will never forget her asking James if he would sleep in the other room, he did (I have a wonderful husband).

What I have written does not do justice to her. I LOVE HER! And words could never capture that. I feel like my heart is broken and will never be the same. I will remember her for who she was, someone who loved fiercely and who was loyal beyond belief. I will always be Samantha Blair's twin sister!

I just want to end with a comment she posted on my blog last year when she came to visit. It is typical Samantha and I wouldn't have changed a thing about her!!!

"LOSE THE FAT PICTURE OF AUNT SAMMY! I'm so sad that I had to come home. Maybe if Crocky crocks I can move to San Diego and be closer to you guys. Thanks Lij, E! and Liv for spending time with me. You are the darn cutest kids ever. I had so much fun. Come see me and Max sometime very soon! Love you! Aunt Sammy"